When you are sad,
I will dry your tears
When you are scared,
I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried,
I will give you hope.
When you are confused,
I will help you cope,
And when you are lost,
And can't see the light.
I shall be your beacon,
Shining ever so bright
This is my oath.
I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?
Because your my friend. -author Monica Mai -Chua Lo
When time pass, I question myself. What is friend? How do I define the word of friend? Every since I question myself, I got my own answer. Having a friend, we do not need a reason or think is worth or not. Every friends that I have, stand a very special places in my heart, no one can replaces each of them. Because every human have their own character, there is not another one which is 100% same. Even every peoples that I meet on the street, I think is a fate. If is not because of that, then how will they meet? So I appreciate everyone~
Friendship is not like an agreement or contract, where it come with term and condition. We become friends, because we feel happy being together and share what we had. Helping each other, because the friendship is there and the care among each of us. Sometime even they hurt me, I will not regret of having them as my friend. Even they do something that hurt me so well, I will only angry for the time being, then let it go... Don't know why~ I can't keep the anger so long, example like years or ages...
Even they do some very bad things on me, if they ask me for help again, I will do it and forgot about what they have done... Because friend really come with no condition. If you were angry for years and ages for just a reason of anger, then that is not call a friend anymore, is call as enemy... But the anger always come with the caring of a friend, if you didn't care about your friend, you will not feel the anger, disappointed and the sadness...
There was few friends of mine, done some very terrible things on me. I was very angry with them in the starting, and I talk alot about them ( to realise my anger), but then, when they talk to me again, I answer them normally, even they ask me for some help, I still do it... I can't help it, cause it happen to be so automatically... I also don't know why~ In the other way, when I think back, I really feel that, I should actually thank them~ Because of their behavior and done something to me, my life become colourful, it become meaningful, and I also learn from it~
There is a very best friend of mine, say something that really hurt my feeling and I think I will remember those words for the rest of my life. It was really a hurting one, that I never expect it come from the mouth of my friend. I was very angry, disappointed and sad about it. I was really doing what the poem said, I do eveyrthing for that friend. Helping without considering about myself, and never break my promises about it. But in the end, its come with hurting words... Even saying that, it has no trust on me. From the day onward, I never expect any trust from that friend, but I will still keep my promises. Every secrect that the friend share and tell, I will lock it in my heart~
What I can do now, I will just only smile and remain silent. Believe it or not, is depend on the friend of mine. It think like that because there is once, it thinks that I have betray one of the friend by telling out the secrect, but that is not. And it also believe that I simply tell people about it, and simply make some decision for it. But the answer is a no.... Even come with explanation, but there is no believing in me....
It makes me feel very bad for a few weeks, but then I tell my friend, no need to run away or look differently when see me... Because I blame no one. We're still friend, even there is something there before, but that is pass... I will always be there again, if there is a mess, I will still help, if there is something, I will still listen~
I'm not saying myself is good or what, but that is me... I'm like that. Since I was in secondary, this kind of me is there every since... There is nothing change, peoples do ask me to learn how to say no. Yes... I been trying it, I learn how to say no to the things that I don't want to, but really slow~ Because saying no without hurting peoples, that is the hard part...
I feel the pain, I don't want others to feel it too... I rather I feel it myself than other peoples to feel it, and looking at their sad faces~ When you looking on it, your heart are more pain than it~
